


stay awake

by deadjolras



Series: sober spins [1]
Category: Fontania
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Drunk AU, F/M, Family, Friendship, Heartbreak, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Platonic Romance, Poor Life Choices, Unrequited Love, drowning your sorrows, everyone is a mess, putting the fun in dysfunctional
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2864051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadjolras/pseuds/deadjolras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Although many believed his heart to be missing, the king fell in love with a girl made out of sunshine and, together, they had three children whom they loved dearly."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Icarus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Icarus - Bastille

* * *

_Once upon a time there lived a penniless king. His face was carved from stone, but his heart was in the right place._

* * *

**THEN:**  

"One day, I'm gonna be a knight!", Frederick announces, kicking his feet against the floor.

Richard looks up from his newspaper, glances at his oldest child currently sprawled on the carpet. He tries not to grimace: Michael's clothes are relatively new and he's just lying there on his stomach like he doesn't even care about all the dust surrounding him.

"Is that so?", Eleanor asks from the kitchen. Unlike him, she probably doesn't mind that the boy is ruining his perfectly nice trousers. In fact, she sounds amused but, apparently, is quickly distracted by Mike tugging at her sleeve and demanding another spoonful of that unpleasant-looking baby mush. 

"Yep." Freddie snatches his yellow crayon from Hazel's mouth and continues doodling. She looks like she's about to complain and Richard tenses because there's only one thing he hates more than crying children, and that's the sound of his crying daughter. Fortunately, she seems to think it over and goes back to brushing the hair on her doll. "I'm gonna be as tall as Dad!", Frederick adds, beaming at him. 

Richard wants to smile, assure him that, genetically speaking, he's all set and shouldn't have to worry about that. Instead, he returns his attention to the newspaper, saying: "Don't draw on your books." 

He doesn't see Frederick's smile falter. 

* * *

_Although many believed his heart to be missing, the king fell in love with a girl made out of sunshine and, together, they had three children whom they loved dearly._

* * *

**LATER:**

"Is Mummy going to be okay?", Hazel asks from the back seat. She's holding Frederick's hand and the boy stares seriously into the rear-view mirror, determined to meet his father's gaze.

"She will be," Richard lies.

"I don't wanna go to grandma's," Mike whines a minute later, breaking the silence.

"Tough." Richard wishes he could be more sympathetic (he's not fond of his mother either), but there's nothing he can do about it at this point: he can't leave the children alone while he spends the night at the hospital and he's not dragging them there with him either. Sadly, his parents are the only people he knows with a big enough house that can receive three children within short notice.

"It'll be fine, Mikey," Frederick says quietly, pulling his little brother into a one-armed hug. For once, Mike doesn't complain nor does he squirm.

When Richard checks the mirror again, Frederick's still staring at him.

 _Right?_ , his eyes ask, and Richard looks away.  

* * *

_Their youngest son had the temper of a demon and the disposition of a tornado, but he resembled more a kitty rather than the lion he intended to be._

* * *

**NOW:**

"What's the point in having access to all these fucking programs when there's nothing worth watching in any of them!?", Mike yells at the television, but he doesn't stop flipping through the channels nor does he feel particularly inclined to remove his feet from his brother's coffee table. Finally, after a few more seconds of complaining, he settles for something with an excited "oooh!" 

* * *

_Their only daughter was as beautiful as her mother and as wild as her younger brother, but she was level-headed like her father and, therefore, his favourite._

* * *

"Ew, Mike, gross! We're not watching Animal Planet again!" Hazel tries to reach for the remote but Mike holds it a safe distance away from her. 

"But it's educational!"

"Watching two lions getting it on isn't educational, you idiot! It's gross!" 

"You only say that 'cause Carrothead's out of town and you're jealous of their sweet lovin'!"

"Oh, look who's talking! Is Sophia still making you sleep on the floor?" 

"Shut the fuck up!" 

* * *

_The king's oldest son was a charming boy. He had eyes and hair of gold, and was as sweet-tempered as he was well-behaved. He spoke of love and dreamed while awake._

* * *

"Cut it out, the both of you," Freddie says wearily, stepping into the room. 

The other two stop their impromptu wrestling match to look at their brother. Today, he's uncommonly clean: Freddie has shaved and none of his clothes are stained. Hazel would even bet that he doesn't smell like ash tray or stale beer anymore. 

They take a few moments to recover from the shock (by the gods, it looks like he's even brushed his hair!) and Mike reacts first: "And where are _you_ going all fancy-like?", he wonders, smirking. 

Hazel's copies the expression and the mocking tone: "Did you clean your ears too?", she coos. 

Freddie mumbles an affirmation and scowls at the floor, and it's then that they realise that he hasn't looked at them once since he walked in.

"You okay?"

Freddie moves his head, but the gesture is so vague that they're not sure how to interpret it. "I'm having lunch with Dad," he informs them with a sigh. Hazel and Mike wince sympathetically. She stands up at once.

"Good luck, Freddie," she tells him, walking over to him to kiss his cheek and give his clothes a quick inspection.

"You're gonna need it," Mike adds solemnly.

Their brother finally looks at them and he's doing a valiant attempt at a smile, but it's too weak to fool anyone. He reaches up to run a hand through his hair, but he thinks it better and rubs his neck instead. "Yeah."

He leaves without saying goodbye, and they watch the door close with the odd feeling that Freddie might as well have been leaving for war.


	2. 1957

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And her kingdom wept."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1957 - Milo Greene

* * *

_The king's wife one day fell ill._  

* * *

  **NOW:**

"-- and I'm almost as tall as him now. It's really weird, y'know. You spend your life looking up to - _at_ him and, all of a sudden, we're almost at eye level," Freddie tells his mum that morning. The wind chills him to the bone and the grass is a little wet, but he doesn't mind. He shifts, careful not to bump the worn vase of brand new flowers. "But he just keeps telling me I should stop slouching and 'stand like a man'..."

Freddie sighs and drops his head. His mother says nothing - she hasn't in a very long time - and her picture continues to smile at him.

He remembers being anxious during his first few months worth of visits, remembers how self-conscious he felt speaking to a slab of marble and getting no answers. Nowadays, he just fills the silence with half-forgotten tunes and silly lullabies. Today, however, he owes her a real song and so he continues talking, updating her on his life and his family's (but not about his drinking - he's never told her that - because he fears her frozen smile might melt) until his lungs feel ready.

Then he starts, quietly and breathlessly: " _If I die young, bury me in satin -_ "

Of course that was her favourite song, the first she taught him and the one he likes the most now. Of course it is.

" _\- lay me down on a bed of roses -_ "

Because his mum had a great sense of humour, he remembers that, and of course she'd make him sing that on Mother's Day. 

* * *

 _There was no cure for her sickness, so she withered away._  

* * *

**EARLIER:**

Everyone greets him the same way: they pat his back and shake his shoulder like his grandfather did at the funeral.

It's been two years and his father still sleeps on the sofa. Freddie knows because he goes into his parents' (now, his mother's) room every day and the bed's always untouched. It makes him wonder whether her pillow might still smell like her, but he doesn't dare find out and so he settles for sitting at the foot of the bed. He does it when things become too overwhelming and, lately, they've been doing that a lot. 

He's fifteen now, in his first year of high school, and there's a lot resting on his shoulders: Dad demands a scholarship and Mike demands attention, and Hazel demands affection, and there's so much he can endure before he starts to feel like he's suffocating. So he hides in his mother's room, curling up on himself and wishing desperately that she could be there to ruffle his hair and remind him that his dad just has a unique way of expressing his affection - he's just strict but that doesn't mean he loves him any less - he just wants the best for this family - that's all, that's all, _but it hurts mum it hurts so much when he just_ glares _at me I just want to make him smile at least once_.

But his mum is silent and, worst of all, not even there.

(Neither is his dad: he's working late today too.)

He knows it's wrong, and part of him _is_ disgusted with himself, and he's sure his dad would beat him black-and-blue if he ever found out, but Freddie takes out the bottle of scotch he swiped from Jim's house and drinks anyway.

It's a bad idea, but the other night, at the party, it felt so nice to forget about everything - just for a little while - just for one night - that he's willing to do it again and again, just so he can dull the pain, turn the ache in his chest into a meaningless throb, and sleep without dreaming. That's all he wants, that's all he needs, and he thinks his mum would understand.

* * *

_And her kingdom wept._

* * *

**THEN:**  

"There," Freddie says, taking a step back and admiring his work. He's not very good with ties yet, but he tried his best adjusting Mike's and he hopes he didn't mess it up. "W-What do you think?", he presses after a beat that lasts too long.

Mike remains silent.

"H-Hey, c'mon...", Freddie starts but he trails off when he realises he doesn't know how to finish, and that makes him wonder where his dad is. "C'mon," he repeats, firmer this time, and he guides his brother out of the room.

Even though her door is open, Freddie knocks anyway and he calls Hazel's name too for good measure. Then he walks in, leaving Mike standing still in the corridor. She's paler than he's ever seen her and, clad in black, she makes him think of the world's saddest little porcelain doll. "We have to go," he tells her quietly. Hazel nods, not meeting his eye, and follows after him.

(She's, at least, more responsive than Mike.)  

"Listen, you two," - Freddie takes a deep breath, licks his lips and clears his throat - "we have to be strong, okay? Just for today, we have to be strong." Hazel nods again and straightens her posture. Mike lifts his head. "That's better. Now let's go."

He goes downstairs with his siblings in tow, like little ducklings, except Freddie's still thirteen and, for all intents and purposes, just a little duckling too. "Dad's probably already waiting for us in the ca-" The word dies in his throat because Dad isn't in the car at all or anywhere near it. He's... standing in the middle of the living room, staring at something that Freddie can't see. Mike and Hazel stop at the same time Freddie does, but he thinks they aren't even aware they've stopped at all. "Um, why - why don't you two go to the car? We'll be leaving in a minute." And, as mechanically as they stopped, Hazel and Mike continue on their way, heads bowed and looking far too small in their formal clothes.

"Dad?", Freddie calls once they're out of earshot.

Richard doesn't answer. He doesn't even move.

"Dad..." Freddie walks over to him, careful not to startle him. "We have to go." _We'll be late for the service and you hate being late_.

His father seems to snap out of his trance when Freddie places a hand on his arm (he can't reach his shoulder without the gesture looking awkward). He takes a breath that makes his whole body shudder and he shakes his head. "Yeah. Yeah, we do." When he puts it back on the table, Freddie realises what had his dad been staring intently at. "Hurry up, Frederick. We don't want to be late because of you."

Richard leaves but Freddie's frozen in his spot because, in front of him, there's a framed picture of his mum and she's smiling at him so brightly that it hurts because _she's dead she's dead she'sdead she'sdead dead dead dead dead deaddeaddeaddeaddead_  -!  


End file.
